I See Monsters

Be a Good Girl, You've Got to Try a Little Harder

Hi! Hi! Hi there! Hello!

So, yeah. It's been a long time since I've posted. At one point, it got so bad that two separate people asked me "Are you ever going to blog again?" I have to admit, my answer at the time was "I don't know." And I meant it. I log into Typepad all the time to write for Zap2it, and every time I logged in this page would mock me. "You have nothing to say," it scoffed, "and besides, you can't even post those pictures you promised about your trip across country! You suck!" Unfortunately, I sort of agreed. I did suck. I couldn't come up with anything clever to say and I couldn't even post something non-clever about my road trip because I never got around to figuring out how to download the pictures from my camera on the new computer I'd been using. If I couldn't do it right, I didn't want to do it at all.

Well, the other day I was reading a magazine article about the pursuit of perfection being a self-defeating prophecy, and it struck me. I don't have to be perfect, or clever, or funny, or on top of it. If I want to write I am going to write. So, therefore, I bring you this very non-perfect (unperfect? no - imperfect!) entry, bullet point style.

• My Nashville move is a done deal! I got there on Easter Sunday and have been spending the past month looking for a job, eating at delicious local restaurants, bothering Nea and Pablo, and playing Zuma. Nashville is a great place and I feel like it could be a good home for me. Now, I just need a darn job. If anyone knows someone who's looking in that area, give me a heads up! I need all the help I can get.
• Pablo and I went to an Okkervil River concert a few weeks ago and it was freaking amazing. At one point, they transitioned right from a killer version of "John Allyn Smith Sails" to an intense crowd singalong of "For Real," and I almost died of pure sonic pleasure. I know 99% of you don't know what I'm talking about, but for that 1% of you who does I just sort of blew your mind, didn't I? You're welcome.
• Right now I am in Florida (details to follow) and McDonald's is waging a hilarious campaign against Chick-Fil-A around here. They have all of these billboards promoting their "Southern style" chicken sandwiches and biscuits, with slogans like "All White Meat, All Week" and "Southern hospitality seven days a week." It's hilarious. (For those of you who aren't familiar with Chick-Fil-A, they are closed on Sundays.) Perhaps I find it so amusing because I am obsessed with Chick-Fil-A now that I live within driving distance of one again. Mmm...delicious. McDonald's, you suck, especially because the other day I was having a rough day (because I totally dented my car hard-core, because I'm an idiot) and I wanted one of your delicious ice cream cones. Did you have ice cream cones? Nooooo. Jerks. Fix your damn ice cream machine!
• I am in Florida because...drum roll please...I am going on a 16 day Transatlantic cruise! My mother has been booked to go on this cruise with some friends for a while, but the person she was planning to room with fell ill a few weeks ago and had to drop out so I got put in her place! Eeeeee! We leave Saturday from Miami and then travel to two places in the Canary Islands, Morocco, two places in Spain, Cannes, and Florence, ending in Rome. How awesome is this? Yes, I owe my mother far too much money now, but this was an opportunity I couldn't pass up. I'm a bit concerned about the first seven days at sea (seven!) but I figure I can always drink if I start to get stir crazy. Ah, $6 daiquiris. I have a feeling my bar bill is going to be quite steep at the end of the journey. I promise to take lots of pictures and actually figure out how to get them off of my camera and onto this site.

Well, that's about it. I apologize for not posting comments on any of your sites - I haven't opened my Google Reader once in Nashville! I'm sort of afraid of it now. My goal when I return - to catch up on what all of you are doing. See you in three weeks!

Sweet Child of Mine

My Thanksgiving was a weekend full of kids, and to risk bragging my family and friends have darn cute kids.  I took lots of pictures.

This is my niece Kelsey.  Isn't she a cutie?  I think she's impersonating a leprechaun here or perhaps a drunk five year old on St. Patrick's Day, but I can't be sure.  She wears pink every day and is afraid of kittens, yet plays soccer on an all boys team and is one of the "tougher" kids.  I love a complicated girl.

These beauties are Ashley and Abby, my friend Kaia's daughters.  They are gorgeous and sweet.  Ashley was excited because she just got straight A's on her report card.  (Her favorite subject is reading and she likes to read poetry and write stories.  How awesome is that?)  Abby loves chocolate.  She sat in front of the cupcake tree eying the cupcake she wanted for a good 10 minutes before she was allowed to dig in.  It was a sight to see.  Then when she got the cupcake, she just ate the decorations off the top and left the rest.  I love kids.

And this is the birthday girl, Sara.  She's my friend Heather's daughter and she turned one over the Thanksgiving holiday so I got a chance to attend her birthday party.  Is she cute or what?

I love that cupcake tree almost as much as Sara does.  Sara also loves Elmo.

 

Elmo needs lots of kisses, and Sara is happy to oblige.

Being around all these kids doesn't help a girl's biological clock to slow down very much.  I suppose I will live vicariously through my friends and be thankful that at least I don't have to change any diapers or deal with temper tantrums yet.

Maybe Next Time I'll Bring Disney Movies Instead

I'm in Florida with the family for my first Thanksgiving home in about ten years, and it is already awesome.  Mom's turkey, dressing, mashed potatoes and gravy, sweet potatoes, 24 hour salad, cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie, here I come!  (Actually, I get to make the pie but only because I begged.  Ha.)  Only 12 more hours to go until dinner.  That's right, it's midnight here but I get to take advantage of my Pacific time zone roots and still make this a blog for Wednesday in NaBloPoMo.  Take that, rules!

My flight out was relatively uneventful, aside from the very nosy old woman sitting next to me.  I borrowed LL Cool A's fantastic portable DVD player, and that made the time absolutely fly.  I brought the last two discs of Deadwood Season 3 that I'd been putting off forever, which went fine until a scene happened where a woman walks around with her breasts fully exposed for about 10 minutes.  That was a bit embarrassing.  Hoping to avoid nosy old woman's strange stares, when that disc of Deadwood was done I opted to put in the Netflixed move I'd brought, Latter Days, which I was in the middle of.  Um.  The next scene in the movie was a gay sex scene!  Not a problem for me, but when I woke up today my goal wasn't to give some old lady a heart attack so I quickly ejected it and put in the final disc of Deadwood instead.

Yeah.  Maybe I should have watched those Veronica Mars discs I brought instead of the sex and violence specials that are Deadwood and Latter Days.  What's that they say about hindsight? 

Ah, whatever.  Bring on the turkey!

Watch Me Crank It, Watch Me Roll

Have you ever had one of those vacations where real life seeps in so much that doesn't really feel like a vacation at all?  VVB members LL Cool A, Webster's Dad, Sluggo and myself headed to Phoenix last weekend, and what was meant to be a fun, relaxing vacation filled with football and beer quickly turned into a stressful, strange non-vacation, yet thankfully still filled with football and beer.

The purpose of the trip was to attend the Cardinals/Lions game on Sunday but the opportunity to visit a different city was enticing so we decided to make an entire weekend out of it, planning to leave Friday night after work and return some time Monday.   The trip on the 10 was mostly uneventful. (Save a vicious Burger King/Wendy's battle that I ultimately conceded.  And that might only have been vicious in my mind.)  Uneventful, that is, until we were about 30 minutes outside of Phoenix when the "check engine" light in LL Cool A's car turned on.   Unfazed, I checked the user's manual which assured that as long as the light wasn't blinking everything would be fine. 

Of course, you can guess what happened next.   The light started blinking.  Then, physical signs of the car's distress began: shuddering, loss of acceleration, noise.  LL decided to pull over at a gas station in Buckeye and when we disembarked from the vehicle, we all smelled a horrible burning odor.  Needless to say, LL didn't feel comfortable driving the last 30 minutes of the trek so we had to do the old AAA tow and take a cab to our hotel.

Now, if you think getting a tow and cab in the desert is fun in the daytime, just be thankful you've never had to do it in the middle of the night.  All things told, we were at the gas station for about two hours, during which time we met two drunk dudes hanging out in the parking lot "eating dinner" and getting ready to go to a party (which they invited us to and we refused) but not before calling Mexicans "beaners" (which, I didn't even know what they are talking about because I've never heard that particular racial slur before) and drunkenly getting into their car and riding off into the night.  We also saw a dude in snake skin cowboy boots that had real snake heads on the top of each one, a guy with a gun on his hip in a holster in plain sight (he wasn't a cop, he was hanging with his buddies in like jean shorts and a t shirt) and a very nice Cardinals fan who hilariously asked us "headed out of town?" when he saw all of us standing around our suitcases on the sidewalk.  At 4am.  In the middle of nowhere.

Anywho, the cab finally came and dropped us off at our hotel around 6am, but poor LL and WD had to get up an hour later to head over to the car dealership and figure out what in the hell was wrong.  Luckily, Sluggo and I got the pampered treatment and got to sleep in until 11am.  We joined them at Buffalo Wild Wings for some college football and got the additional bad news that the car dealership had NO IDEA what was wrong with the car.  They blamed it on a bad tank of gas, which: bullshit.  They decided to replace some spark plugs and something else motor-y just in case, and promised it would be all better.  After spending all day at the restaurant eating wings and drinking beer (THREE DOLLAR 23 oz. BEERS, which was so amazing I almost cried) we got in the supposedly fixed car and drove away.  A few miles down the road, the check engine light came on again, and LL let out a string of profanity Ralphie Parker would be proud of.

Knowing that he couldn't drive the car back in this condition, and all the dealerships were closed on Sunday anyway, we decided to rent a car to cut down on cab fees because you can't spit on a cab in the Glendale/Phoenix/Goodyear/Surprise area for less than $40.  After renting a car (and a cab ride where we met yet another racist Arizonan...what's up with that?) we trekked over to the stadium and got some much-needed food.  After that we went over to their little stadium-adjacent shopping area we called Downtown Disney and I ate a bag of cotton candy as big as my leg.  Yum.  Then, we went to the stadium because, well, we ran out of things to do.

It sort of looks like a blimp got smooshed, huh?  Turns out, it's pretty nice inside and the roof lets a lot of natural light in which helps the ambiance so much.  Our seats were actually pretty good:

At this point we were all really hoping the game would be awesome and make up for everything bad that had happened the last two days.  Everything was going swimmingly until this guy showed up:

Baily.  Freaking Baily.  He came down the aisle towards us shouting some sort of Cardinals cheer at the top of his lungs, and all I remember thinking was "Oh Dear God, please let this jackhole be sitting somewhere far away from us."  God had different plans, because he took a seat in the seats directly in front of us.  Baily isn't that type of fan to let opposing fans be.  Nope, he has to obnoxiously taunt the opposing fans at every opportunity.  Every first down, even.  And!  He spits!  On you!  When he's shouting in your face!  It's gross!

Things started out swimmingly with an early Lions interception and score, but it just wasn't in the cards (get it?) for the Lions that day and they played like absolute dogshit.  Sitting near Baily did not help, let me tell you what.  That guy is a douchebag.  He obviously has season tickets for those seats, because he's sort of a celebrity douchebag in that section.  It's astounding, because if I was a Cardinal fan I would want to disavow any knowledge that Baily even existed. After the depresso game, we had some Mexican food.  Perhaps to subconsciously make up for all of the Mexican slurs we heard that weekend.  Let me tell you, fried ice cream?  Is the ultimate healer.  Man, that was good.

The next day, LL and WD took the car into a (different) dealership to get it checked out and we checked LL in to a hotel for him to wait out news on what was wrong with his car.  Unfortunately, the rest of us had to leave to get back to our stupid jobs and cats and other annoying things like that.  On the way home, LL called us to inform that yes, there actually WAS something wrong with his car (stupid Avondale Mazda -- DON'T GO THERE) but the part necessary to fix wouldn't arrive until Wednesday.  And this was Monday.  Poor LL Cool A.

Despite all of the crazy, annoying things that happened over the weekend we still managed to have a decent time and lots of laughs.  And $3 beers.  Don't forget the $3 beers.  The best thing that happened to me all weekend, though, besides the three dollar beers?  Was discovering the Soulja Boy dance.  (I know, I'm about two years behind everyone else.  I am so uncool.) 

Even the University of Texas football team loves the Soulja Boy!



I could watch that all day.  "Crank That."   Oh, how I love you.  Now excuse me, I have to go crank dat Robocop. 

One more thing.  If you ever see this guy at a football game?

Move your seats.  Sit in the third tier nosebleeds if you have to, just God forbid, MOVE FOR YOUR OWN SANITY.

(Editor's note: LL did in fact get his car back on Wednesday.  On the way home, the check engine light came on again!  He immediately turned around and went back to the dealership, who said it was his catalytic converter and he would be fine to drive it the 6 hours home to L.A. and get it fixed there.  When he arrived and took it to his usual dealership, he learned that the catalytic converter was basically about to blow at that point and if he had continued to drive it any further it his car would have completely crapped out and stranded him.  Which the Arizona dealership neglected to mention.  So...the moral of the story here is do NOT go to any Mazda dealerships in the greater Phoenix area.  Also, don't go to Phoenix.  That might be a better lesson, actually.)

Killing in the Name Of

Things I've learned on my Phoenix trip so far:

1.  Driving hundreds of miles in the middle of the night is a lot more fun when you don't break down and have to spend hours at a gas station with the locals.

2.  People in Phoenix are surprisingly nice -- though some are a bit racist.

3.  Football games you drive hundreds of miles in the middle of the night to attend are a lot more fun when the team you came to see doesn't play like crap.

4.  Fried ice cream makes everything better.  (With Lactaid for the intolerant, of course.)

More on all of this later...I'm going to bed.

Kickin' Around Europe: Salzburg

So...yeah.  Remember when I went to Europe?  I do, barely.  I can't believe that I dropped the ball so mightily on these vacation recaps.  I'm especially sad because my memory is terrible and part of the reason I wanted to get these done was so I won't forget anything!  Sigh.  Well, I'm going to attempt to pick them back up.  Bonus: you guys weren't there so you won't know when I am leaving things out or creating completely new memories that didn't even happen!  This way the recaps will be funnier.  (To me, at least.)

Refresher: in July, I went on a wonderful 12-day vacation tour to Austria, Germany and Switzerland with several of my family members.  In attendance, besides myself: my mother, my Aunt Kay, my cousins Nikki and Joe, and Nikki's mother-in-law Beth.  It was fab.

Day Three: The Beautiful Blue Danube (Also, Gayness!)
Day Three was our first of many city moves.  Here's how it works: every time the tour moves from one city to another (and therefore our hotel moves) we had to be up extra-early and have our bags sitting in front of our rooms to be put on the bus.  After another wonderful European breakfast we got on the bus and headed for a village in Austria called Durnstein.  There we were to catch a boat down the Danube River on our way to Melk Abbey, and later Salzburg.  Durnstein was a cute little old riverside village that basically seems to exist now to hold a church and cater to tourists before they embark on their Danube River cruises.  I'm sure towns exist for much less.  Here's a pic of the "main drag":

See?  Cute!  Here is the church.  European churches are so beautiful.  No matter how small the town.

After shopping a bit in Durnstein, it was time to get on the boat.  Here are my cousin Joe and I waiting to embark (go aboard?  I can't remember my boating terminology.)  That brightly colored bag Joe is holding is full of some awesome Austrian bread.  I am at a loss as to why we can't have bread that awesome here in the U.S.

Good Lord, my legs are white.  And this is in the summer!  I suppose I should pat myself on the back for believing in sunscreen, but I am too embarrassed.  Ick.

The boat ride started out lousy because there were no seats on the upper deck.  Once a few people disembarked, however, we made it up to the top and things were wonderful.  We ate some bread and had a few drinks.  Beer really does make everything better.  Here are my mom and my aunt, enjoying the Austrian sunshine.  Also, the wine (not pictured):

And here's our view:

After a pleasing ride down the Danube (if too sunny -- I got a bit red), we headed to Melk Abbey.  I found Melk to be a bit boring, honestly, so I am not going to discuss it.  Then it was back on the coach to go to Salzburg proper.  Salzburg is a beautiful mid-size city with an interesting dichotomy between the "new side" and the "old side."  It is probably best known here in America because of The Sound of Music and the Von Trapp family.  It is also the birthplace of Mozart.

Immediately I fell in love with the city.  First of all, the beds at our new hotel were divine.  Seriously, they were the best hotel beds I had ever slept on.  This includes the Cabo trip where I stayed at One and Only Palmilla resorts, or as I call it, the resort where the movie stars go.  These Salzburg beds were amazing.  Secondly, almost all of the history of the city revolves around music to some extent, and everywhere we went there was some sort of music playing.  I loved that.  Third, it is just beautiful.  I mean, look at this:

Pretty, no?  That night (after testing the beds for a few minutes) (not like that, pervs) our tour group had plans to go to an opera dinner at a local restaurant.  Basically this entails eating wedding food (chicken, veggies, rice!) while listening to an opera performance.  We arrived and waited to be seated for a pretty long while.  Eventually, word started to filter back that the restaurant had messed up and had the wrong date reserved for our group.  Therefore, we had no reservation, and there wasn't room for us in the performance room.  Thankfully, our wicked-sharp tour guide Christine went to work and got them to give us a separate performance in a new room so that we wouldn't be left out.  It turns out the opera performance was basically two people, a man and a woman, performing several pieces from Mozart's operas while being backed by a string quartet.  It was quite lovely, as they both had wonderful voices and the quartet was very talented.  The best part, however, were the intangibles. 

Two words: Orlando Bloom.

When the singers first entered the room, my sharp-as-a-tack mother leaned over to me and said, "Uh oh, Orlando Bloom just came in!"  Well, mom was right.  He did look much like old Orlando, but dreamier.  The boy was seriously hot.  I am so sad I didn't take a picture.  After the first course, my cousin Joe told us that he thought he was getting a "vibe" from Mr. Bloom.  You know, a "How you doin'?" sort of vibe.  The next time they came in to sing they performed a few numbers from Die Zauberflöte, one being the totally awesome "Pa-Pa-Ge-No!  Pa-Pa-Ge-Na!"  If you haven't heard this tune, you should.  I can't correctly begin to tell you how much comedy this tune lent us every time we discussed Mr. Bloom and his love for cousin Joe.  (Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa...oh, you had to be there.)  The funniest part...I think cousin Joe was into Mr. Bloom a bit.  I can't blame him, as he was a beautiful man.  As I told him, if it happens in another country, it's like it didn't happen at all.  It's like the old saying that cheating in another area code isn't really cheating.  Europe is the best place to be bi-curious!  That should be their slogan, sort of like Vegas's "what happens here, stays here" thing.  Except more awesome.

Day Four: Hitler Had A Cool Pad (But He Was Still A Psycho)
That seriously sounds like it should be a Panic! At the Disco song.  (On the same album as Don't You Want to Shoot Me (Because I'm So Freaking Emo All the Time?))  Day Four started out with a great breakfast yet again, followed by a walking tour of Salzburg.  We started out at Mirabell Gardens, a beautiful garden where part of The Sound of Music was filmed.  Here is a pic of my Mom and I at the gardens:

All I can see when I look at this picture is THE PANTS.  OH MY GOD, THE PANTS.

From the Mirabell Gardens you get a great view of the Salzburg Fortress, one of the largest medieval  castles in Europe:

Our walking tour then took us across the river and into the old town section of the city.  Here is where I fell in love with Salzburg.  It was just so beautiful and quaint.  Here is my favorite place:

Oh, just kidding.  Fountain Diet Coke isn't that good in Europe, anyway.  Not enough carbonation.  I loved this street, though, with all of the iron signs. 

After perusing the shopping on this street we headed over to Mozart's birthplace, where we discovered something much more interesting than Mozart: food!  There was an open-air market in the square behind his birthplace, and we had a grand old time eating street food.

Doesn't that look divine?  Speaking of divine:

Hello, yummy pretzels.  I miss you.  (Call me, I'll come visit sometime.)

Post-gorging, we had an appointment to take a side trip to Eagle's Nest, Hitler's retreat, in nearby Germany.  I had no idea what to expect, but when I arrived I was ecstatic.  Not only was the history fascinating, but the views were phenomenal and the weather was perfect.  It was truly relaxing, which is a bit strange to say considering I was relaxing in a place considered a vacation home for Hitler, but whatever.   

This is the entrance to the tunnel that takes you to the elevator that takes you to the retreat.  Although much of the retreat was destroyed in WWII, this tunnel and elevator were spared because they are camouflaged from the air.  You have no idea how creepy it is to stand in a tunnel where Hitler once stood.  I get the heebs just thinking about it.  I wish I had a picture of the fireplace in the retreat.  It is one of the original features, and it is completely scarred and mangled where Allied soldiers chipped away pieces of the marble and wood as souvenirs.

Once you get outside, though, you kind of loose the heebs.  Look at that view.  Even in pictures, it takes my breath away.  We spent the rest of our time there sitting at an outside restaurant enjoying the view and some fine German spirits.

All I can think of when I look at this pic is my beautiful beer glass.  You see, my Aunt Kay decided those were some pretty nice glasses, and wouldn't they look just wonderful in cousin Joe's apartment?  So, to the mortification of everyone at the table she proceeded to ask our waiter if she could take one of the glasses home.  (Note the qualifying one, as this will be important later in the story.)  He basically says, "I no see you take, so what I no see, no problema!"  I have no idea why in this retelling our German waiter is some sort of Mexican/Chinese hybrid waiter.  Memory is a tricky thing.  Anywho, once our waiter moseys away Kay takes cousin Joe's empty glass and shoves it in her purse.  A few moments later, she takes MY empty glass and shoves it in her purse.  This, my friends, is where the shit hits the proverbial fan.  Because you all heard the story where she asked for one glass, right?  Yeah.  We all then got in a (very funny) argument with Kay about how taking the one glass wasn't stealing, but taking the two was total thievery.  Jokes about getting arrested are always funnier in a foreign country.  Kay got very, very defensive, which was funniest of all.  She still kept the two glasses, though, so I guess she showed all of us!  Or something.

That night, because of Aunt Kay's love of all things Sound of Music, we signed up for a dinner performance of music from the movie.  Oh, and dinner performance, it was -- it was basically Austrian dinner theater.  I found the music, production and food to be quite lacking, but before the performance they showed a fascinating interview with the real Maria Von Trapp which made the entire night worth it.  In this interview Maria basically said that the only reason she and the Captain ever got married was because the kids meddled and basically forced her to say she liked him.  In fact, she sort of implied that she didn't like him one bit!  It was quite hilarious, and so funny to hear about after the obvious Disneyization of the story for the movie.  Another reason the trip was worth it: the dinner theater singers also did a Mozart performance section featuring the now infamous "Pa-Pa-Ge-No! Pa-Pa-Ge-Na!" song.  When they started that one up, we all nearly hit the floor.  Let me just say, Dinner Theater Papageno was no Orlando Bloom.

Well, that's it for Salzburg.  Next up: Oberammergau, featuring long-lost foreign exchange students, cemeteries, and hotel keys the size of my forearm!

Don't Mess With Texas

Last weekend I had the immense pleasure of attending the Austin City Limits music festival in Austin, TX.  My friends Pablo and Nea went last year, and this year were kind enough to invite me to tag along.  Not only did I get to tag along, but I got to shack up at Pablo's mom's house.  Free!  Pablo's mom is so nice. 

I arrived on Thursday afternoon anxious to get this music filled weekend started.  That night we went downtown (?) to meet Pablo's dad for some barbecue at Stubbs.  As there is pretty much no good barbecue in L.A., I was appropriately stoked.  The food didn't disappoint.  I thoroughly enjoyed my brisket, pork ribs, mashed yams and fried okra.  YUM.  I could tell from the start that this wasn't going to be a weight loss weekend. 

That night we just chilled in anticipation for a big opening day of the festival.  We did discover, however, the awesomeness of Austin television.  They have a local music channel that shows videos from indie and local artists, which was very entertaining.  I saw videos from Okkervil River, The Shins and David Garza.  I wish we had one of those in L.A.  Better than that was the public access programming.  We stumbled onto an hour-long Christian video program.  It was SO GENIUS, I almost died.  I wish we could have taped it and uploaded that shit into YouTube, because it was hilarious.  It started with some sort of Christian screamo death metal, segued into Christian 80s Meatloaf meets Motley Crue sort of rock, and then finished with an indescribable Yanni meets Hall and Oats video shot at the Coliseum in Rome, featuring strong pedophile overtones.  I haven't laughed that hard in a long, long time, and Pablo and Nea's commentary made it even funnier.

Day One
The next day (after sleeping until 11am, like, thanks for waking me up Pablo!) we got ready and headed out to the festival.  Now, I've never been to a multi-day music festival before so I had no idea what to expect.  We arrived just in time to stake out a spot and plant our chairs for Guster's set.  Guster was a lot of fun, and a great way to start the weekend.  Then we just turned our chairs to the neighboring stage for Wolf Parade.  It was great, we really didn't even have to move!  Granted, we weren't that close but we could hear just fine.  Wolf Parade was without their bass player because he got E. coli.  That's what he gets for trying to be healthy, I guess.  You're a rock star!  Aren't you supposed to survive on whiskey, cigarettes and crappy diner food?  Despite that absence, they were great and I am definitely going to try to see them next time they make it to the West Coast.  Here's a pic:

See?  That's them way up there!  On a side note, I love that Whataburger flag.

Next up on the neighboring stage was Nickel Creek.  Their lead singer Chris Thile is a serious hottie.  Oh, and their music is pretty good, too.  Nea and I left halfway through to check out Gnarls Barkley.  They were fun, but honestly I was too damn hot to enjoy such a dance-y set.  After Gnarls we strolled over to see Gomez, who are one of my favorites right now.  They didn't disappoint, although by that time the sun was so strong that it was pretty hard to take and Nea got a little woozy. They did play a great version of "How We Operate."  Love that song.  Here is a pic: 

After Gomez, we headed back to meet up with Pablo and his sister, Stacy, and catch some of Los Lonely Boys.  I'm not a huge fan, but it was great to get back to our chairs and their music was perfect for chilling out to.  Then we headed to what was my most anticipated set of the day, Ray LaMontagne.  I just love everything he does, and I was excited to see how his music translated to a live performance in a big venue.  Let me say, it translated well.  He and his band were completely on point, and even though he didn't play "Burn," (Boo!) I totally loved his set, and it made my day.  Pic goodness:

After Ray we caught a few minutes of Van Morrison, but the hunger pangs were too strong.  Taco Cabana was calling us.  We left and got a cheap yet delicious late-night fix of barbacoa tacos, chips and queso.  (That would be Tex Mex meal #1 in a long and storied four day Tex Mex marathon.)

Day Two
On Saturday we had tickets to an aftershow featuring Okkervil River and deadboy & the elephantmen, so we decided to sleep in a bit and go into the festival a bit later.  We arrived at 3:30pm just in time for Nada Surf.  I recently saw them at the Henry Fonda Theater and they were great, so I was pretty psyched.  Unfortunately, they were just okay.  You know, kind of fine.  I left about halfway through to try to do the festival impossible -- see three different bands all performing at the same time.  This requires an innate sense of timing and balance.  I don't recommend it.  I started with the closest stage, where TV on the Radio was playing.  I've heard a lot about them from various blogs and music publications, so I was anxious to check out their live set.  I...think it's not my thing.  I like melody.  The three songs I saw had no discernible melody whatsoever. 

Jaded, I headed over to catch the tail end of The Secret Machines.  Suddenly, my day got a lot better.  They were FANTASTIC.  Again, I had never heard their songs before but their performance really captured my attention.  I'm definitely going to pick up their new album.  Once I get a job and have some money.  As soon as their set ended I ran over to catch The Long Winters.  I am a new TLW fan, and I am glad I took the time to search them out at this festival because their set was great, and ended up being one of my favorite sets of the entire weekend.  They are a very tight indie pop band with catchy, infectious songs.  Lead singer John Roderick is a great front man and puts on a great show with a mixture of humor and pathos.  I am excited to pick up more of their music and learn everything I can about this new musical discovery of mine.  (Not a new discovery for most -- I just learned that they recently released their third album.)  I was able to get really close for this set, so my pictures are much better.  Although, now that I look at them...they're not really in focus.  Oh well:

After The Long Winters I had planned on jumping over to the nearby main stage to see The Shins, but I decided to skip it.  The entire population of the festival was over there, and it was crazy.  I trudged back over to the other side of the park and met up with my group, and we immediately packed up and went over to the main stage to stake out a good spot for The Raconteurs one hour early.  This would turn out to be one of the better decisions we made all weekend, because it got crazy packed over there.  After suffering through the horror of about 2,000 people trying to fit in a space designed for approximately 665, they came onstage.  Then something incredible happened.

They rocked.

Now, I am a fan of both The Raconteurs and Jack White, but I have never been rabid in my admiration.  I always thought -- good albums, talented, interesting, deserving of success, but nothing super special.  Once I saw him play, though, I now just think WOW.  He is amazing.  They put on a kick-ass-rock-out set, playing almost every song on their album (except "Call It A Day," my least favorite song anyway) and a scorching, life changing cover of "(Bang Bang) My Baby Shot Me Down."  I have had a few transformative experiences while listening to music, and this was one of them.  The level of emotion in the performance of the song was unbelievable.  And now I'm in love with The Raconteurs, and Jack White.  Pics:

Mmm...Jack White.  Those are three words I never thought I'd say together!  What can I say, he now gives me the fever.  After their set ended, we went back over to the other side of the park to see Willie Nelson.  I was so wiped after that Raconteurs set that I just sat down and relaxed for his set, but it was great.  Willie is still the coolest.  Sorry about that drug bust, buddy.

Once Willie ended we raced back to the car, raced into a Mexican restaurant for a quick dinner (officially Tex Mex meal #3) and then raced over to 6th street to see our Okkervil River/deadboy & the elephantmen show.  I changed my entire outfit, put on makeup and all in the car.  Just like a hooker!  We got there about 15 minutes into deadboy's set.  I have their album, but I'm not a fan.  I bought it off of a four star review in Rolling Stone.  My recommendation: don't do that.  They have two interesting songs, and that's about it.  Okkervil didn't come on about midnight, but it was definitely worth the wait.  Will Sheff is awesome.  Despite some technical difficulties, they put on a great show featuring all of my favorite songs.  "For Real" is one of my very favorite songs of the past few years, and their live version kicked serious ass.  The pic is dark, but here it is anyway:

After that it was home and right to bed.  At 3am.  I'm still sleepy.

Day Three
This was the day I wanted to die.  I was so tired, and my feet were a mess.  We got up a little bit earlier and went to breakfast with Pablo's mom, aunt and cute little cousin (cousin, right?) at a Mexican restaurant, where I had my first ever breakfast taco.  (Tex Mex meal #4!)  After that it was off to the festival again.  Pablo's mom joined us for this day as well, which was fun, although I felt bad for her when the bar ran out of wine.  What kind of bar that only sells beer and wine runs out of wine?  Amateurs!  Sunday was the only day I was truly sad we had to get there a little later, because I missed sets by Anathallo, Rocky Votolato and The Stills.  Next year. 

Our first set was KT Tunstall, which is a great way to start a day.  She's a good performer, and although she hates women I really like her.  Maybe she doesn't hate women, but she sure thinks they're stupid!  After KT, we caught Jose Gonzalez, a great singer/songwriter from Sweden.  It was just him and his guitar on this huge stage in front of thousands of people, which was interesting.  I enjoyed his performance, but I'm looking forward to seeing him in a smaller venue.  Also, his accent is awesome.

After Jose, Ween played on the adjacent stage.  Pablo headed to the other side of the park to see Matisyahu.  If I had any sense, I would have joined him because Ween sucks.  They made me angry, I hated them so much.  Thankfully, The New Pornographers (featuring Neko Case!) played next and made me happy again.  Neko offered to give the sound guy a BJ to get some reverb in her ear, which was pretty entertaining.  The only thing more entertaining would be if she actually did it onstage.  Maybe next time.

After The New Pornographers we literally ran across the park to catch The Flaming Lips.  I'm not a big fan of their music, but their festival performances are legendary.  They definitely didn't disappoint, starting the show with their lead singer crowd surfing in his famous plastic Zorb bubble thing.  He also imitated Ben Kweller's now-infamous nosebleed, shot confetti into the air with a confetti gun, had dancing Santas and spacemen onstage, and sang that song they performed at the Peach Pit After Dark all those years ago.  (You know, "she don't use jelly, or any of these, she uses Vaseline!" David Silver, they knew you when.)  All in all, a great show.

After Flaming Lips Nea and I went off in search of funnel cake and Muse.  We found both, and both were good.  Muse played a stellar set full of hits from their last three albums, and made me a bigger fan than I already was.  They also ended their set 15 minutes early as not to overlap Tom Petty, which I thought was a really classy move.  The crowd wanted more, repeatedly chanting "one more song," but they didn't come back out.  Overall, a great, great performance.  My pics didn't come out because of the angle and the extreme light show they were putting on, but here is the best one:

Heh, that's not very good at all!  My picture taking skills leave much to be desired.  After Muse's early ending we went back over to Tom Petty, and we could already hear them playing their hits.  They played hit after hit for about 30 minutes, until the wind started to pick up.  I have obviously forgotten all of my Floridian roots, because when the wind picked up Pablo, Nea and his mom started packing up all of our stuff and getting out the umbrellas.  Oblivious me was all, "what's going on?"  Yeah.  Then the downpour started.  Duh, Carrie.  The rain lasted for about 30 minutes but once it stopped Tom came back out and started rocking again.  As I heard this might be their last tour as a full band, I am really glad I got to see this set.  It was great, and a perfect way to end the weekend.

After Tom Petty, we left and once again headed to Taco Cabana.  (#5!)  Taco Cabana is good.  We need one of those here in L.A.  Then it was off to sleep.  On Monday we had lunch with Pablo's mom, dad, sister, grandmother, and aunt at a local Mexican restaurant.  (#6!  I'm never eating chips and salsa again!  Okay, until tomorrow at least!)  It was at this restaurant that I got my first -- and last -- taste of menudo.  Menudo is gross, yo.  I think it is an acquired taste I have not yet acquired.  Unfortunately, I do not forsee myself putting the time and effort in to acquire it.  Menudo and martinis.  Life's too short.  Just drink beer and eat the tortilla soup.

To recap, three days of music is a wonderful, wonderful thing.  It is especially wonderful when you can spend it with good friends and receive the wonderful hospitality and warm welcome I received.  To recap:

Favorite sets
The Raconteurs
Muse
Ray LaMontagne

Honorable mention:
The Long Winters

And finally, a by-the-numbers recap
Number of hours spent in the hot Texas sun: 15
Number of bands seen: 22
Number of alcoholic beverages consumed: 18
Number of blisters acquired: 3
Number of rainstorms caught in: 1
Number of Tex Mex meals eaten: 6
Number of albums to be purchased as result of ACL: 4
Number of broken folding chairs serenaded: 1 (You're my boy, blue!)
Number of funnel cakes inhaled: 1/2
Amount of fun had: Immeasurable

I can't wait to do it again next year!

Kickin' Around Europe: Vienna

And so it begins.  (Finally.)  I am not quite sure how to organize my entries because we visited so many places, but I've decided to do an entry for each city where we had an overnight stay.  We'll see how that goes.  I reserve the right to change my format midstream.

Refresher: in July, I went on a wonderful 12-day vacation tour to Austria, Germany and Switzerland with several of my family members.  In attendance, besides myself: my mother, my Aunt Kay, my cousins Nikki and Joe, and Nikki's mother-in-law Beth.  It was fab.

Day One: I Am Never Traveling Overseas Again
Promising way to start out, eh?  Honestly, in hindsight it wasn't all that bad but at the time I was ready to KILL SOMEONE.  My flight from L.A. to JFK was perfectly fine.  Once I got to JFK, however, my bad mood began and didn't disappear until the next day.  I've decided that JFK is the single most depressing airport I have seen.  The people who work there are mean.  There is no signage telling you where to go.  The food options in Terminal One are DIRE.  Suck fest, all around.  Once I got on my flight, the guy sitting next to mean turned to me and said, simply, "listen."  I did, and heard at least 20 crying kids.  It was unbelievable.  Needless to say, it wasn't the quietest flight and I didn't sleep at all.  My neighbor, unfortunately, didn't have this problem and I had to pee for at least four hours but I couldn't get out of my seat!  Finally he sort of woke up and I was all "I need to get out, I need to get out!" in a panic.  I think I scared him.

Once I arrived my instructions were clear: go to arrivals and wait under a clearly marked sign.  I waited.  And waited.  And waited some more.  At this point I was so tired, standing there and lugging my too-heavy suitcase, that I just wanted to cry.  I bucked up, though, took one more lap around the area and found my driver.  Standing where he wasn't supposed to stand.  Sigh.  We made it to the hotel in pretty good time and the first thing I saw was my mom.  Man, I have never been so happy to see my mom in my entire life.  It was so comforting.

I immediately went to the room and took a much-needed nap.  At one point I'm pretty sure I was interrupted by my family coming in to hug me hello.  I don't recall.  I was TIRED.  After my too short nap, we all got on our coach to drive to Grinzing, a little wine village right outside of Vienna.  I have been to this village (and the specific restaurant we visited) before, so I was not all that jazzed about the journey.  I just wanted to sleep, yo.  Jet lag is a little bastard.  My mother and I ended up getting seated at a different table than our family, which was annoying.  Again, I just wanted to go home.  The one fun part was watching my mom get drunk on the free wine.  Drunk moms are funny!  I took no pictures of this night, because I wanted to die.

Day Two: Feeling Much Better, Thanks
Things started to look up on day two.  We went downstairs bright and early and feasted on an incredible breakfast set up by the hotel.  Let me tell you, European breakfasts are my thing.  The best bread ever, to die for jam, real butter, and this awesome juice they call "multivitamin juice."  Good stuff.  The yogurt looked amazing, but unfortunately dairy is evil, so I did not partake.  Stupid lactose.

Then it was on to our coach (this will become a running theme, just a warning) for a tour of Schonbrunn palace.  I had also been here, so again, not that exciting.  Nice, but not exciting.  After the palace we had a short coach tour of the city.  I'm a different kind of traveler, in that while I appreciate history and like to hear about a city's cultural legacy, I am more interested in the culture of the city at that moment.  Hence this pic.  Anyone up for some target practice?

I also enjoyed this pool built right on the Danube River.  There was also a little man-made beach up on the bank, with lots of young adults sunning themselves.  It was HOT outside.

After the tour we went to see St. Stephens Cathedral.  (Again, been there done that, wanted to do something else.  I'm so fucking hard to please.)  I did like this, just outside the cathedral.  L.A. has Ryan Seacrest on their Walk of Fame, Vienna has Johann Strauss.  They're comparable, right?

After the cathedral we had an amazing lunch.  I had wienerschnitzel with parsley potatoes, which is now my favorite food.  Yum.  Then we went to the famous Cafe Demel pastry shop and I had the most gorgeous apple strudel EVER.

We took a quick stroll around the shopping district and then headed back to our hotel.  I basically just skipped dinner and went right to sleep, but not after an embarrassing interlude where I turned on the porn channel right in front of my mom.  Warning: when traveling overseas with a parent, don't go too far up on the old television dial. 

And that's it for Vienna!  Next up on the oh-so-exciting tales of my European adventure: Salzburg, aka the city where my cousin Joe almost crossed the line from bi-curious to full-on gay.

Kickin' Around Europe: The Soundtrack

I'm finally about to start my Europe trip travelogue, but I wanted to kick it off with my own personal music mix I made on the way home.  Each of these songs reminds me of a specific part of the trip and what a wonderful time I had, so I listen to it nearly every day.  The title comes from my cousin Joe, who said I should tell everyone I spent my unemployment "kickin' around Europe, trying to find myself."  This one's for you, cuz.

Kickin' Around Europe

1. Out of L.A. - Jude (No One Is Really Beautiful)
2. Come On! Feel the Illinoise! - Sufjan Stevens (Illinoise)
3. Waltz (Better Than Fine) - Fiona Apple (Extraordinary Machine)
4. Mothers, Sisters, Daughters & Wives - Voxtrot (Mothers, Sisters, Daughters & Wives EP)
5. Cathedrals - Jump Little Children (Magazine)
6. Act II: Pa-Pa-Ge-Na! Pa-Pa-Ge-No! - Walter Berry/Ruth-Margaret Putz (Great Recordings of the Century - Mozart: Die Zauberflote)
7. If You Were Gay - Original Broadway Cast, Avenue Q (Avenue Q)
8. I Need Some Fine Wine and You, You Need to Be Nicer - The Cardigans (Super Extra Gravity)
9. Auf Asche - Franz Ferdinand (Franz Ferdinand)
10. Munich - Editors (The Back Room)
11. You Play Glockenspiel, I'll Play Drums - The Beautiful South (0898)
12. Been Caught Stealing - Jane's Addiction (Ritual de lo Habitual)
13. 100 Degrees - Shout Out Louds (Howl Howl Gaff Gaff)
14. I'm A Cuckoo - Belle & Sebastian (Dear Catastrophe Waitress)
15. The Cemetery - Architecture In Helsinki (In Case We Die)
16. We Used to Vacation - Cold War Kids (Up In Rags EP)

Camping Is Fun

Last weekend the VVB went on a camping trip to Joshua Tree National Park for Webster's Dad's 30th birthday.  (Happy Birthday, WD!)  It was awesome.  Check out my pictures:

Desert + Beer + Balls On Ya = Good Times