I See Monsters

Be a Good Girl, You've Got to Try a Little Harder

Hi! Hi! Hi there! Hello!

So, yeah. It's been a long time since I've posted. At one point, it got so bad that two separate people asked me "Are you ever going to blog again?" I have to admit, my answer at the time was "I don't know." And I meant it. I log into Typepad all the time to write for Zap2it, and every time I logged in this page would mock me. "You have nothing to say," it scoffed, "and besides, you can't even post those pictures you promised about your trip across country! You suck!" Unfortunately, I sort of agreed. I did suck. I couldn't come up with anything clever to say and I couldn't even post something non-clever about my road trip because I never got around to figuring out how to download the pictures from my camera on the new computer I'd been using. If I couldn't do it right, I didn't want to do it at all.

Well, the other day I was reading a magazine article about the pursuit of perfection being a self-defeating prophecy, and it struck me. I don't have to be perfect, or clever, or funny, or on top of it. If I want to write I am going to write. So, therefore, I bring you this very non-perfect (unperfect? no - imperfect!) entry, bullet point style.

• My Nashville move is a done deal! I got there on Easter Sunday and have been spending the past month looking for a job, eating at delicious local restaurants, bothering Nea and Pablo, and playing Zuma. Nashville is a great place and I feel like it could be a good home for me. Now, I just need a darn job. If anyone knows someone who's looking in that area, give me a heads up! I need all the help I can get.
• Pablo and I went to an Okkervil River concert a few weeks ago and it was freaking amazing. At one point, they transitioned right from a killer version of "John Allyn Smith Sails" to an intense crowd singalong of "For Real," and I almost died of pure sonic pleasure. I know 99% of you don't know what I'm talking about, but for that 1% of you who does I just sort of blew your mind, didn't I? You're welcome.
• Right now I am in Florida (details to follow) and McDonald's is waging a hilarious campaign against Chick-Fil-A around here. They have all of these billboards promoting their "Southern style" chicken sandwiches and biscuits, with slogans like "All White Meat, All Week" and "Southern hospitality seven days a week." It's hilarious. (For those of you who aren't familiar with Chick-Fil-A, they are closed on Sundays.) Perhaps I find it so amusing because I am obsessed with Chick-Fil-A now that I live within driving distance of one again. Mmm...delicious. McDonald's, you suck, especially because the other day I was having a rough day (because I totally dented my car hard-core, because I'm an idiot) and I wanted one of your delicious ice cream cones. Did you have ice cream cones? Nooooo. Jerks. Fix your damn ice cream machine!
• I am in Florida because...drum roll please...I am going on a 16 day Transatlantic cruise! My mother has been booked to go on this cruise with some friends for a while, but the person she was planning to room with fell ill a few weeks ago and had to drop out so I got put in her place! Eeeeee! We leave Saturday from Miami and then travel to two places in the Canary Islands, Morocco, two places in Spain, Cannes, and Florence, ending in Rome. How awesome is this? Yes, I owe my mother far too much money now, but this was an opportunity I couldn't pass up. I'm a bit concerned about the first seven days at sea (seven!) but I figure I can always drink if I start to get stir crazy. Ah, $6 daiquiris. I have a feeling my bar bill is going to be quite steep at the end of the journey. I promise to take lots of pictures and actually figure out how to get them off of my camera and onto this site.

Well, that's about it. I apologize for not posting comments on any of your sites - I haven't opened my Google Reader once in Nashville! I'm sort of afraid of it now. My goal when I return - to catch up on what all of you are doing. See you in three weeks!

Well I Heard There Was a Secret Chord

I gave up American Idol for good this year, and boy was that a load off my back. I am 57% happier for making that decision. Truly. Since I gave it up I've been happy to slag the show, because truly it is mostly vapid and horrible. But...but...BUT. I can't be too angry at a show that causes Jeff Buckley's gorgeous version of "Hallelujah" to be the #1 download on iTunes. I just can't be mad at that.

So, young people, download Jeff Buckley! I don't even care that an evil corporate empire that sucks the brains out of half of America for 5 months each year is the cause.

There I Go, Turn the Page

I don't know if all of you have played Rock Band, but I am hereby declaring it the most awesome video game that has ever existed in the history of video games. It is quite possibly the most awesome thing to ever exist in the history of anything, period.

It's an absolutely genius idea for a game because we all grew up secretly wanting to be a rock star. Right? Personally, I practiced my rock star skills growing up by rollerskating up and down my driveway while belting out REO Speedwagon tunes or holing up in my room recording myself singing along to Gloria Estefan and the Sound Machine on the radio. Unfortunately, I realized quickly that I have no actual talent or charisma. It took me until later on in life to realize that REO Speedwagon and Gloria Estefan aren't rock stars. Air Supply, on the other hand...

Anywhoodle, this is where Rock Band comes in. Talent and charisma are not required! All you need to do is sort of follow along and have fun and pretend. Pretending is grand.  Grand, I tell you! There is a downside to the game, though. You kind of look like an idiot while you play. Exhibit A:

These kids are totally having an awesome time and I love them. But notice how they look kind of ridiculous. (I admire that they have actual drums in the room, however.) I never want to see video of myself playing this game, as I might die in a pile of embarrassed ashes on the spot.

The other problem with the game (besides the fact that it lives at Webster's Dad and Sluggo's house so I spend most of my days trying to figure out how to scheme an invitation from them to come over and play) is that the song selection sort of sucks. I have somehow been deemed "the singer" when our band Chimp Nipple (playing at a lonely, desperate dive bar online today!) gets together. Being the singer, if you don't know the song you are completely hosed. And strangely, I don't know or don't like a LOT of songs on this stupid game. That makes the feature where you sing random songs super duper fun! And we do that feature a lot!

When Chimp Nipple is rocking out in random song mode, I sit tensely awaiting the song title to pop up, praying to the rock gods I get something decent. Because I'm bored, I thought I would document what songs suck and what songs are awesome. I would just like to say, in my defense, even if I've never heard a song before I will sportingly try to use the "notes" on the game to figure it out. Dudes, just an FYI. That's hard. I've only ever totally crapped out like twice, though, and once was on a Coheed & Cambria song, which I'm pretty sure is not a real band but some cruel joke thrown in there by the game designers to make people crazy.

OK, on to the list!

Awesome:
"Say It Ain't So" - Weezer (The bridge is awesome, awesome!)
"Wanted Dead or Alive" - Bon Jovi (Dude, the crowd sings the Richie Sambora part. Clutch.)
"Here it Goes Again" - OK Go (I suck at this song, but it's fun.)
"When You Were Young" - The Killers (My favorite. I hated this song before Rock Band, but it is SO FUN to sing.)
"Enter Sandman" - Metallica (I pretend I am 14 again and singing it in my bedroom.)
"Celebrity Skin" - Hole (Girl rock!)
"Go With the Flow" - Queens of the Stone Age (Homme!)
"Dirty Little Secret" - All-American Rejects (Fun, and offensive! Bonus.)

Crap:
"Highway Star" - Deep Purple (This is some guy singing about his car. Do not want.)
"Sabotage" - Beastie Boys (This is not singing. And I am not a rapper.)
"Suffragette City" - David Bowie (Everyone groans when this comes up. It's not just me!)
"Next to You" - The Police (Ditto. Of all the Police songs, this is the one they get rights to?)
"Welcome Home" - Coheed & Cambria (I'm pretty sure this is not an actual band. Right? Please? I hope? This song is beyond terrible.)
"Run to the Hills" - Iron Maiden (Okay, I've never sung this. But I was playing drums and heard Webster's Dad singing something about rapes and stuff, and got lost in a fit of giggles. Why so political, Iron Maiden?)
"Gimme Shelter" - Rolling Stones (I don't so much know how to sing this one. Weird, right?)
"In Bloom" - Nirvana (Most. Boring. Vocals. Ever.)
"Dead on Arrival" - Fall Out Boy (I'm pretty sure trying to sing this gave me hives.)

All right. Fess up. Who else plays Rock Band? And if so, can I come over to your house and play?

It's Just a Bad Movie, Where There's No Crying

Tiff (she of the famous mac and cheese and hilarious and insightful blog postings) challenged us with yet another wonderful CD Swap, this time with a fun twist.  The directive?  Design your own movie or TV soundtrack.  Fun, right?

When I first read her idea, my mind started racing with possibilities.  Do I do an ironic teen horror/gross out comedy featuring the latest trendy and up-and-coming bands?  Or a depressing co-dependent tearjerker about a destructive relationship set to the slit your wrists tunes of folks like The Cure?  Then, it hit me.  My deep, dark secret reared its ugly head and shouted directly into my ear, shouted something I'm about to confess to you all that only people who went to graduate school  with me in Syracuse really know.

I've already written a freaking movie.

Yes, friends, back in the days of my callow youth before I knew blogs even existed I fancied myself a bit of a writer.  Therefore in grad school the class I was most excited about taking was screenwriting, and take it I did.  It was a wonderful class and I adored my professor, but in the end it gave me one thing I shouldn't have had under any circumstances: the desire to move to Los Angeles and become a TV writer.  Why was it bad to give me this dream of being a TV writer, you might ask?  Well, because I'm sort of crappy at it, that's why.  The only good thing to come out of this screenplay were the looks of wonder, awe and impatience I got from all of the underclassmen in the 24 hour computer lab when I was printing out the 120 page document on the shared printer at 4am.  For about 7 minutes while this sucker printed, I was a complete rock star.

I've decided, in the interest of full disclosure to you my faithful readers, and also in the interest of making LOADS of fun of myself, to use this screenplay as the basis for my soundtrack.  Please keep these things in mind as I am bearing my (terribly written) soul to you:

• It is perfectly all right to make fun of me in the comments.  I know the script sucks, you won't hurt my feelings.
• I wrote this in 1999, at the tender age of 22.  I knew nothing about anything, let alone writing a screenplay.
• OK, so the screenplay isn't terrible per se, it's just outstandingly mediocre.  So mediocre that as a reader (one of my main tasks at my first job in L.A.) I would have read about 20 pages before giving up and not recommending the writer or the material.  At least with ridiculously bad screenplays I would read to the end for sheer entertainment value.
• Anything written in parentheses are my current thoughts.  All original dialogue and stage direction writing is unchanged (including synopsis), but I didn't have any character or scene descriptions so those are new.
• Inevitably, some of these songs have already been used in TV or movies.  I tried to avoid it as much as possible, but I get most of my music ideas from TV shows and movies.  Therefore it was a little hard to avoid.

Now, because I'm making this challenge even harder on myself, I decided that I couldn't use modern music and to take the challenge on as if the movie was made very soon after I'd written it.  All music was recorded or released in 2000 or earlier and I tried to get as many songs that were released in late 1999 - early 2000 as possible.  Therefore, you might be aware of most of the artists but it's always fun to have a nostalgia-fest, isn't it?  Okay, here goes nothing:

Foursquare

Synopsis:
An evil clique.  The pranks they pull.  No worries about the consequences, just the thrill of living in today.  This is the story of how a group of high school girls becomes entangled in a prank over their heads.  The manipulative Sydney plots to ruin young Evan's life, and Jill goes along for the ride.  Unfortunately for them both something unexpected happens - Jill falls in love with Evan.  Now it is up to Sydney to make sure her plans are seen through, no matter what it takes.  But Jill has a different plan.  She must expose Sydney in order to save Evan's family, not to mention his pride.

(Wow.  I really took this story seriously, and it is really totally ridiculous.  Also, Jill falling in love with Evan is TOTALLY unexpected!  That's never been done before, or since!  I'm such a hack.)

Track List:

1. "Monday" - Wilco
2. "Teenage Dirtbag" - Wheatus
3. "Never Say Never" - That Dog
4. "Completely Pleased" - Semisonic
5. "The Other Side" - Bob Schneider
6. "I Found a Reason" - Cat Power
7. "Flavor of the Month" - The Posies
8. "Something Burning" - Deb Talan
9. "Tell Her This" - Del Amitri
10. "Mixed Bizness" - Beck
11. "Everything I Do" - Whiskeytown
12. "One More Murder" - Better Than Ezra
13. "Blue Parade" - Sarah Slean
14. "Windmills" - Toad the Wet Sprocket
15. "Super Bon Bon" - Soul Coughing
16. "Prophecy" - Remy Zero
17. "Somebody That I Used To Know" - Elliott Smith

Click here to download Foursquare: The Original Soundtrack (via Megaupload)

(Embarrassing) character descriptions, scene details and music placement below.  Warning: this is long, and Typepad only lets you put your post behind a jump if you are a Plus or Pro subscriber.  Suck it, Typepad.

Characters:
Sydney - The queen of the school who always gets her way.  Everyone looks up to her, because otherwise she would ruin their lives.  She has a few dark secrets of her own, and will do anything to keep them hidden.  Think Sarah Michelle Gellar in Cruel Intentions.

Jill - The reluctant clique member.  Secretly is over Sydney and her mind games but doesn't think she can get out from under her thumb.  Falls in love with Evan and sees him as her ticket to a normal life without Syd.  Think Jennifer Love Hewitt in Can't Hardly Wait.

Evan - Our hero and love interest for both Jill and Sydney.  Always does the right thing and doesn't care much about what people think of him.  Think Paul Rudd in Clueless without the pretentious superiority complex and pet causes.

Tiffany - The ditzy, kind one in the clique.  Supposed to be my comic relief, unfortunately she's never actually funny.  I modeled her after my gorgeous and bubbly friend at the time named Tiffany because I'm nothing if not original.  I wonder what happened to her?  Anywho, think Amanda Seyfried in Mean Girls.

Amber - Um, pretty much a non-entity.  The most underwritten character in screenplay history.  Basically, I needed a fourth girl so I could use the title Foursquare.  Think Jessica Alba in Never Been Kissed.

Mr. Williams - Evan's father and the subject of Sydney's very cruel final prank.  Think Kevin Spacey in American Beauty, without all of the anger and suburban unrest and suicide.

Scene descriptions and music placement:
1. "Monday" - Wilco

Our opening scene, featuring the girls first prank to establish their M.O.  The girls prove their prank-a-liciousness by playing a trick on their stuffy algebra teacher by putting chocolate pudding on his desk chair so that when he stands up, the pudding makes it look like he pooped his pants!  Hilarious!  Also, I totally stole that from Can't Hardly Wait.  Unoriginal, and unfunny to boot!  I am awesome.

Key dialogue: 

MR. REED
What's the problem, class?  What's so funny?

(I am a such a word smith.)

Key moment: 
Evan, our hero, totally disapproves, shaking his head in disgust at the hijinks.

(See - he's different!)

2. "Teenage Dirtbag" - Wheatus

Title sequence.  Scenes of our four girls at high school interspersed with them playing foursquare.

(Why would high school girls play foursquare?  I do not know.  Again, I just really liked that title for some reason.)

3. "Never Say Never" - That Dog

The girls meet to plan their final, big prank as seniors.  Jill's bedroom. Night.

Key dialogue:

SYDNEY
You guys know Evan, right?  Jill's next door neighbor?  Well, after the whole cafeteria thing...

AMBER
The infamous chocolate milk incident?

SYDNEY
(glares at Amber)
Yes, that.  He's got it coming.  I figured what better way to get him, short of death, than ruin his entire life.  Jilly here is simply going to assist me.

TIFFANY
Assist you in what?  Dammit, Syd, tell!

JILL
I'll tell.  I have to have sex with his father.

(Naughty!  The gist of the prank is this: Jill is going to sleep with Evan's father and make sure his mother finds out and divorces him, while Sydney is going to ruin Evan's life in a more direct manner that is never fully explained, because the script is terrible.  Tiffany and Amber have a side mission to embarrass their homeroom teacher who has a proclivity for sexual deviancy by taping her having kinky sex with her husband and airing it during the morning announcements.  Veronica Mars totally copied that from me, by the way.  I left this out because this post is already way too long.)

4.  "Completely Pleased" - Semisonic

Jill's first seduction attempt. Evan's house.

Key dialogue:

JILL
What's that great smell?

MR. WILLIAMS
Pot roast?

JILL
No, not food.  More musky.

Jill walks around the room, sniffing the air. She stops within millimeters of Mr. Williams' ear, pauses, and sniffs again.

JILL
(into Mr. Williams' ear)
It's very sexy.

(Although I was actually having sex at this point of my life, I apparently didn't know anything about being sexy.)

5. "The Other Side" - Bob Schneider

Jill and Evan's first almost kiss while they are studying for Spanish, an excuse Jill only used to get access to Evan's dad.  Evan's house.  Afternoon.

Key dialogue:

They lean towards each other to kiss, and Jill pulls back.
JILL
Sorry.  It's just, well, I'm sorry.

EVANJill, wait. C'mon, Jill.

(Can't you just picture it in your mind?  You see, they used to be friends [a long time ago] and working together has brought out their old feelings!  So unexpected,right?)

6. "I Found a Reason" - Cat Power

The aftermath of the kiss.  Jill and Evan meet at a diner to talk it out and eat an uncomfortable meal together. 

Key dialogue:

EVAN
I don't know what's happening here either, Jill.  but I know I liked studying with you.  And I wanted to kiss you.  I still do.

JILLEverything's so complicated.

EVANWhy don't we get out of here? Go to the lake, talk some more. Figure all this out.

(HE WANTS TO GET IN YOUR PANTS, JILL.  Not really.  They actually just sit by the lake and kiss chastely.  Lame, I know.  But now they have a secret, forbidden love.  Always hot.)

7. "Flavor of the Month" - Posies

Sydney (who is secretly in love with Evan, remember) becomes suspicious of Evan and Jill's relationship and shows up before school demanding Evan give her a ride.  She kisses Evan, which of course Jill sees and misinterprets.

Key dialogue: none!

Key action: Jill rips up the note she was going to give Evan confessing her part in the ongoing prank to seduce his father and therefore ruin his life. 

(Misunderstandings, hooray.  It's a regular Three's Company up in here.)

8. "Something Burning" - Deb Talan

Evan's car as he's reluctantly giving Sydney a ride to school. Sydney turns on the radio and sings along.

Key dialogue:

SYDNEY
You're thinking about Jill, aren't you?
EVAN
Why would I be thinking about Jill? I'm wondering why you appeared at my doorstep this morning, that's all.
SYDNEY
I wanted to see you.  We'd make a good couple, don't you think?  It would do wonders for your social status.
EVAN
I'm not all that concerned with my social status.
SYDNEY
You'll change your mind.

(Good grief.  Is this thing over yet?)

Mr. Williams car (continuous).  They're listening to the same radio station.  He gives Jill a ride to school because Evan was giving Sydney a ride instead of her, and also because Jill has a newly reformed mission to get in his pants after seeing Evan and Sydney kiss.

Key dialogue: None.  But Jill totes kisses Mr. Williams on the mouth.  Hussy!

(Actually, as written this was a decent scene.  I'm much better when there is no dialogue involved.  This is why I never could bring myself to finish any of my Dawson's Creek fanfic, the dialogue just sounded so terrible.  Yes, I tried to write Dawson's Creek fanfic.  Shut up.)

9. "Tell Her This" - Del Amitri 

Evan and Jill bond in her bedroom after clearing up the Sydney misunderstanding from earlier that morning.  They are now in love again but are still continuing with a secret relationship, and Jill still hasn't told Evan about her prank to sleep with his father.  The young are so fickle.

Key dialogue:

EVAN
So what's the deal with your parents?

JILL
You know, typical stuff.  They ignore me.

EVAN
I don't think ignoring should be typical.

(Isn't he the perfect boy?  Sigh.  ...gag.)

10. "Mixed Bizness" - Beck

Party that night.  Dance music blares.  Evan arrives with Sydney, which makes Jill furious and confused.

Key dialogue:

EVAN
Jill, I wanted to explain.  I only came with Sydney because I wanted to see you, and well when she called and invited me, I just thought...

JILL
Save it.  It doesn't even matter anymore.

EVAN
What do you mean, it doesn't matter? Of course it does.

JILL
No, it doesn't.  Sydney always gets what she wants.  This time is no different.

EVAN
She won't this time. She won't get me.

(This is getting painful.)

11. "Everything I Do" - Whiskeytown

After the party, Jill goes to Evan's house to see him and apologize, but he's not there.  Mr. Williams, titillated from their earlier interactions, asks Jill to dance.

Key dialogue:

MR. WILLIAMS
(massaging Jill's shoulders)
This is more fun than studying.  May I have this dance?

(Um, ew.  Just so you know, both Jill and Mr. Williams get weirded out during the actual dance.  I don't have some weird Daddy complex.)

12. "One More Murder" - Better Than Ezra

Jealous of Jill and Evan's obvious connection, Sydney carries out her plan to ruin Evan, but first she spills the beans about Jill's involvement with his dad.  Then she drugs him and takes compromising pictures of them together.

Key dialogue:

SYDNEY
All the time she's been spending at your house?  Studying Spanish?  I don't know if you've checked her report card lately, but she has a solid B in that class.  Before your help.

EVAN
Jesus, Sydney.  Just get to the point already.

SYDNEY
My point is, she has another agenda. Your father.

EVAN
My dad?
SYDNEY
She's trying to sleep with him.  In fact, she may already have.  Or she may be doing it as we speak.

(I am a genius, having someone spill the beans to Evan before Jill gets the chance.  That's only happened in, oh, EVERY television show and movie since the beginning of time.  Folks, I'm non-WGA and available if you need my services.)  (Just kidding, WGA, I'm not a scab.)

13. "Blue Parade" - Sarah Slean

Jill receives a package from Sydney containing the compromising pictures of her and Evan together and starts crying over Evan and his apparent betrayal. Sydney pays her a visit.

Key dialogue:

SYDNEY
What is this, a pity party? I guess you got proof of my completed assignment. Jill, it was for your own good.  He's a loser.  I'm trying to preserve your reputation.

JILL
You're not trying to help me.  This is all a part of your little game.
SYDNEY
Game? This is no game, my friend.  This is life.  And life isn't all lovers and roses.  It's about pain.  Heartbreaks and thorns.  Be glad you learned early.
JILL
I learned, all right.  I learned about you.  About friends.  Or enemies.

(Heartbreaks and thorns?  I...I...don't know, people.)

14. "Windmills" - Toad the Wet Sprocket

Jill and Evan realize what Sydney did and confess their love for one another.  How do they figure it out, you ask?  Because Evan has his eyes closed in all of the pictures and doesn't remember anything, and this causes Jill to remember that Sydney has used a date rape-type drug on a boy before to take compromising pictures of him.  Sydney needs some new tricks, folks.

Key dialogue:

EVAN
Shit, Jill.  Here I am, hanging out with this girl I really like, hell, who I'm falling in love with, and then...

JILL
You're falling in love with me?

EVAN
Yeah, Jill, I guess I am.  Was.  Am.

(Shit, Jill.  Snort.  This Evan is no Pacey Witter.)

15. "Super Bon Bon" - Soul Coughing

Jill sneaks into Sydney's bedroom looking for something to use against her and discovers her dirty secret: Sydney is not a model like she has told everyone in school.  She mocks up the photos on her own and plays them off like real gigs.  Jill also calls Sydney's supposed modeling agency and records evidence of the person there saying Sydney isn't a client.

(Ruh roh, I think it's time for Jill to reveal Sydney's secrets in a public and embarrassing fashion!)

16. "Prophecy" - Remy Zero

The confrontation/outing of Sydney.  In front of the entire school at a huge house party.  Of course.

Key dialogue:

JILL
It seems Sydney here has been making the whole modeling thing up.  She has this great little setup in her room with a digital camera, and then she can just go into her computer...

SYDNEY
She's lying!  Obviously, she doesn't know what she's talking about.  I don't even have a digital camera, or any of that stuff!

Jill plays tape recorded message from modeling agency, the room erupts in laughter.

(Remember, this was the very early days of home digital cameras and there wasn't much general Photoshop knowledge in the public.  The camera setup seemed MUCH MUCH cooler back then.  Or so I am telling myself.  Please show me some pity.)

17. "Somebody That I Used to Know" - Elliott Smith

Graduation a few months later.  Evan and Jill are together and happy, and shun Sydney, Tiffany and Amber who are still being mean to everyone in their vicinity in an attempt to remain the chosen ones, and failing.  I don't really understand why I had Tiffany and Amber stay with Sydney or what I was trying to prove with this scene.  I suck.  All you need to know is, Jill and Evan are together and happy in their obvious superiority over her former friends.  Self-righteous teenagers, unite!

Key dialogue:

EVAN
We can't let them spoil today, now can we?
JILL
Definitely not.

(Um, what an ending?)

Thanks for sticking around for this self-indulgent spiral of ridiculousness.  At least you can enjoy the music, right?

Maybe You're Gonna Be the One That Saves Me

I got my ticket.

Ryan was awesome. 

He has monster talent.  If I had 1/1000th of the talent he has, I would be a happy woman.

The set was like 2 1/2 hours long!  Here are all of the songs I can remember (not in order, but I'm pretty sure I got them all in the correct section):

Peaceful Valley
Beautiful Sorta
The Rescue Blues (!)
The Sun Also Sets
Everybody Knows
Elizabeth, You Were Born To Play That Part
Oh My God, Whatever, Etc.
Sarcophagus (thrash metal song improvised based on a misheard heckle)
Goodnight Rose
Come Pick Me Up (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111!!!!!EEEEEEEEE!!!!)
Oh My Sweet Carolina
I See Monsters (shout out!)
Wonderwall (!!!!)
Please Do Not Let Me Go

Intermission

"Get Back In Your Seats" song (improvised)
Mockingbird
Dear Chicago
Shakedown on 9th Street (!!)
Off Broadway
Rip Off
A Kiss Before I Go
Goodnight, Hollywood Blvd.
Easy Plateau
Bartering Lines (!!!!!! A kick butt hard rock version, no less!)
Two

Now that is a fucking playlist.  For those of you counting at home, that's four songs from Heartbreaker, two from Gold, one from Demolition, three from Love is Hell, three from Cold Roses, two from Jacksonville City Nights, one from 29 and  seven from Easy Tiger, and I easily could have forgotten a few.  Holy crap, that's awesome!  The only album not represented was Rock N Roll.  I'm especially jazzed because I hadn't heard some of them live. 

Damn, I love him.

Edited to add:

Spotted at concert:

Stosh "Piz" Piznarski

Perhaps he still works for Pitchfork?

False Alarm! False Alarm!

You guys, Ticketmaster might just not be the most evil corporation in America.  Because of Tiff's wonderful story in the comments, I got the bright idea to simply call Ticketmaster and explain my idiocy.  Sure enough, the lady who answered the phone was extremely helpful (thanks, Janice!) and they are leaving a replacement ticket at the box office. 

FREAKING SCORE!  Thank goodness Ticketmaster has policies that cover the asses of ninnies like me.  And thanks, Tiff, for giving me the idea.  You get the extra cookie.

Touch, Feel, and Lose...and Cry, Cry, Cry

I might be the stupidest person alive.

Seriously.

I'm supposed to go to a Ryan Adams concert tonight.  I say "supposed to" because I cannot find my ticket for the life of me.  I spent all morning looking for it, tearing up the downstairs of my house in futility until I absolutely HAD to leave for work.  Then I spent the car ride to work berating myself for being such an idiot and getting emotional because I was really, really looking forward to this concert.  It's my boy Ryan!  And the freaking ticket cost like $50 after evil Ticketmaster fees!  I think I have a right to cry over that.

Here's the thing, though.  I don't lose stuff.  I might be messy, but my messy has a madness to it.  I always put things in the same place so I remember where they are.  When I look for things, I always find them immediately.  So now I am sitting at my desk obsessing over what might have happened to the ticket.  Did I accidentally throw it away somehow?  Did I put it somewhere in my room and therefore lose it into the abyss for good, because that place is a black hole?  (This explanation makes no sense because I never put any sort of paper or document in my room lest this happen.)  Did Ryan Adams-loving ninjas break into my house and steal my ticket without my knowledge?  Did Ryan Adams-loving monkeys break into my house and steal my ticket without my knowledge?

I'm going home at lunch to search some more.  If I find that fucker sitting in the massive pile of paper that I checked (and rechecked, and rechecked) this morning I'm going to hurt somebody.  Probably the monkeys, because I'm afraid the ninjas would kick my ass.

If I Were a Monster I Would Push You to the Ground

The one thing I took away from Cloverfield besides a wicked case of nausea and the newly formed fear of living in tall buildings was the awesome music playing at the opening party scene.  Those kids had a great DJ.  Well, some kind soul at Hypeful took the time to identify all of the songs and post a downloadable playlist for us to use at our very own parties!  Hopefully ours turn out better than theirs in the end.  Here's a link, for your downloading pleasure:

Rob's Party Mix from Cloverfield

I had a lot of the tunes already but the mix opens with a great song from Coconut Records, who I'd never heard of before because I am behind the times.  Apparently, this is Jason Schwartzman's new band.  I downloaded their whole album from emusic and it is pretty fun.  Thank you, Rob's Party Mix!

Like Yesterday

Another day, another gorgeous new Ryan Adams song:

I hope he records this one because it's really beautiful. 

I'll see you on the 30th, Ryan.  Please be in a good mood, because the tickets were expensive.  Thanks.

I'll Cover You

I love cover songs.  I think it is so interesting to hear another artist's take on a song, whether it be good or bad, and when an artist breathes new life into a song and makes it all their own that can be breathtaking.  Below is a selection of a few of the covers I enjoy, but I have so many more that I think this cover mix will become a regular feature here.  Fun!

(Thanks to Tiff for graciously allowing me to copy you.)

A Cover Up (Zip file via Megaupload)

Track list:
"Running Up That Hill" - Placebo (Kate Bush cover)
"We Will Become Silhouettes" - The Shins (The Postal Service cover)
"Everytime" - Glen Hansard (Britney Spears cover)
"Fake Plastic Trees" - Lori McKenna (Radiohead cover)
"Faith" - The Boy Least Likely To (George Michael cover)
"Details of the War" - Fiction Like Candy (Clap Your Hands Say Yeah cover)
"A Case of You" - k.d. lang (Joni Mitchell cover)
"Teardrop" - Jose Gonzalez (Massive Attack cover)
"Umbrella" - Mandy Moore (Rhianna cover)
"God Only Knows" - Claudine Longet (The Beach Boys cover)
"Smile Like You Mean It" - David Gray (The Killers cover)
"Lay Lady Lay" - Magnet & Gemma Hayes (Bob Dylan cover)
"Against All Odds" - The Postal Service (Phil Collins cover)
"We Can Work It Out" - Stevie Wonder ( The Beatles cover)
"Shelter" - Kelly Clarkson (Ray LaMontagne cover)
"Under the Milky Way" - Grant Lee Phillips (The Church cover)
"He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother" - Rufus Wainwright (The Hollies cover)
"Lover I Don't Have to Love" - Bettie Serveert (Bright Eyes cover)

Special Christmas bonus!  I wanted to put out a mix of all of my favorite non-traditional Christmas music this year, but I never got the chance.  In the spirit of this cover post, here are some mostly traditional Christmas songs covered by modern artists.  Enjoy!

A Christmas Cover Bonus (Zip file via Megaupload)

Track list:
"Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" - Jack Johnson
"Last Christmas" - Jimmy Eat World
"Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" - Coldplay
"Happy Xmas (War is Over)" - Damien Rice
"River" - Sarah McLachlan
"Frosty the Snowman" - Fiona Apple

Merry Christmas, everyone.